Saturday, May 24, 2008

Kenny Vs. Spenny - Greatest Show Ever? Yes.

Kenny Vs. Spenny is probably the funniest show I have ever seen. In a world of Family Guy and Arrested Development that's saying a lot. But nothing has given me more belly laughs than this insane show from the boys up North.

The premise of the show is that every week two best friends (Kenny Hotz and Spencer Rice, who are also the shows co-producers) must compete against each other in competitions that seem to be dreamed up in College dorm rooms (Who can stay awake the longest? Who is the best rapper? Who does the gay guy like better? etc), the loser of which then faces a humiliation dreamed up by the victor. That's the basics. What makes the show so hilarious is Kenny Hotz's refusal to abide by the spirit of the rules and instead cheats by any means necessary to attain victory. Sometimes this means cheating at the actual event, such as when he replaced his beer with a non-alcoholic version for the drinking competition. Other times he will actively work on Spencer to stop him from competing, such as locking him in a closet to avoid the start date. What's equally as hilarious is Spencer's refusal to cheat and his indignation at Kenny when he inevitably does. The two make a great pair. The slob and the square guy. The classic odd couple.

Thinking about the show I am constantly brought back to Kenny's cheating with a chuckle. The guy seems to be willing to go to any extreme to avoid the humiliation at the end of the show. Dosing your friend with LSD to get an octopus off his head? No problem. Faking your own mother's death to get a head start in a 10 mile race? Sounds reasonable. Faking a letter from the government informing Spencer that he has AIDS so that he will bomb in a comedy competition? Par for the course. Of course none of this would be possible if Spencer wasn't so comically gullible. Any gag Kenny comes up with Spencer seems willing to buy into to an almost incredulous extreme. And there is an awful lot of speculation on the internet that the show is staged or faked at certain parts, ala Man Vs. Wild .

Faked or not, it is still hilarious. As when Kenny turns the "First One To Get A Boner Loses" competition into the "How Gay Can We Make Spenny Look" competition, there is simply nothing funnier on television. Airing in the States on Comedy Central, and, as I watched it, on YouTube, it is definitely worth a watch or two. Awesome.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Indiana Jones and The Curse of the Thousand Screenwriters

I've always enjoyed the Indiana Jones franchise. I was born in 1984, so I experienced these movies through VHS tapes smuggled out of my parents' library and watched over and over again. I remember my brother screaming "Kali Ma! Kali Ma!" and trying to take my still-beating heart out of my chest in between rewindings of our favorite parts. Good times.

The movies seemed to get that on some basic level a young boy would like nothing more than to travel around the world killing scores of Nazis or insane Hindu cultists while securing historical artifacts and getting the girl. O.k. so it's every grown-up man's fantasy too. It got the fantasy so right that even when it was winking at us, the franchise still kept us glued to our seats with the promise of high action and even higher mysticism.

So what to make of the newest installment, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? Meh. That's about all that I can summon up either way on the subject. There's some good stuff in the movie, there's some bad. But none of it is enough to move me either way. And what a sad statement that is considering this used to be one of the most exciting franchises out there.

So what went wrong? I have a strong feeling that the root of all the problems I have with this movie stem from one factor alone: the terrible wrath of the writers' strike. The huge plot holes, the tin-eared dialogue, the uninteresting characters, the rushed feel of the second act, the cut and paste mash-up of elements that never cohere into a solid whole; it seems like a rush job on an old reliable franchise. The classic Hollywood cash-grab.

The plot is largely beside the point. The gist is that the Communists want to get hold of an ancient alien artifact that will allow them to control the minds of the people of the Free World. Standing in their way is an aging Indiana Jones and Mutt Williams, played well by Shia LaBeouf.

Sounds good so far. But really all of this means one thing: Let's see Indy kick some Nazi, er, Commie ass! And we do see that, for the most part. Lots of Commie ass is kicked. Artifacts are retrieved, then lost, then regained again. Bullwhips are cracked. Exotic locations are shown and then shown getting blown up. The bad guy (er, girl) gets the deserved comeuppance. It's Indiana Jones baby!

Only it's not. Or at least it doesn't feel like it. The action scenes are too safe and marred by CGI. Plot devices are introduced, such as Indiana Jones being blacklisted by the FBI for being a communist sympathizer, and then forgotten. Entire plot points hinge on Indiana Jones or other characters doing things that anyone with half a brain would never do, or at least not do that way (such as Indiana Jones giving the Russians the Roswell alien, etc.) The mysterious artifact has immense and important magnetic properties one minute when it suits the plot and then is forgotten in the next scene. A character changes sides, or appears to change sides, three times during the movie and the only explanation for why seems to be because the writers couldn't figure out a way to keep the Commies on Indiana Jones's trail otherwise. And the final shot in the jungle left me feeling more tired than awed.

For lovers of the franchise there is a lot of winking in the film to past installments. But instead of being funny or interesting, most of the back looking only serves to make us want to watch the better movies.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Character, or lack thereof, in "Smokin' Aces"

Sometimes I just don't know what to make of a movie. This even happens occasionally to movies made by writers and directors that I like and admire. Smokin' Aces is one such movie.

The concept sounds like a straight-forward pitch: An eclectic group of hitmen descend on a hotel to kill a witness for the FBI and possibly each other. All of the elements are there for what should be a great action flick. Just shake and bake. The concept will lead you the rest of the way through the movie.

The only thing that could really mess this up is if someone starts over thinking the concept. Guess what happened?

Maybe the concept was too straightforward for writer and director Joe Carnahan. His previous movie, Narc, was a great cop film that was able to balance story and tone. Perhaps he felt to hemmed in by his first movie, which was made small on an independent movie budget. Maybe that's why he was tempted to introduce pages and pages of backstory weaving a dizzying tale of undercover FBI agents and mob kingpins going back sixty years before we ever see a hitman. Maybe that's why the tone of the movie inexplicably shifts between perverse dark comedy to action mayhem to serious drama and then to romantic comedy just for the hell of it in a bat of an eye. Maybe he had to introduce as many characters as possible in as many ridiculous, clichéd situations to get rid of that Hollywood itch.

Maybe he just doesn't know what the hell he's doing.

What I know is that I left the theater confused. Confused not because the story was intricate or because I missed something in the film. I absorbed everything that the film had to offer, I am pretty sure. No, what left me confused is the thought that somehow someone thought that this movie made sense to make this way. What's more someone bankrolled this movie. My brain hurts at these thoughts.

The movie features a great cast, a cast that it doesn't deserve. Ray Liotta , Ryan Reynolds, Jason Bateman, Andy Garcia, Jeremy Piven, and Alecia Keys all give great performances with what they are given. Alecia Keys particularly stuns in her first movie. She is able to deliver ridiculous dialogue convincingly and looks comfortable with whatever is going on around her. She is also stunning because of how gorgeous she looks throughout most of the movie. With her sitting behind the piano you just don't get the full idea how good looking she is, you will if you see this movie.

You may notice that I'm not spending too much time on the plot. That's because the plot is not taken seriously by the movie and is so involved that it is not worth exploring. The movie's last shot, supposed to be a gut punch, falls flat because, well, who really cares? The movie doesn't. Something tells me that the characters don't. Ultimately neither does the audience.

You know I would have been happy if this movie had been one of the "Super Action" films ala Commando or Rambo because then it would have been interesting and coherent on at least some level. This movie tries to stick its finger in all of the porridges and ends up not getting the taste of any of them. It wears me down just thinking about it. Save yourself the trouble. Don't go.

Monday, January 8, 2007

Eye of the Tiger

I, like many boys my age, or more likely older, grew up watching the Rocky movies. There was everything we needed to satiate our violence craving pre-adolescent minds: two men in a ring throwing haymakers, getting knocked down but getting back up despite the odds and good sense, and of course the good guy winning in the end. I loved those movies. My favorite being Rocky IV, or as I like to subtitle it: "How Rocky Won the Cold War." That was by far the most viewed and most loved. Next was Rocky II and then Rocky III, somehow we never really got around to watching the original Rocky in those days and watching the fifth installment once was all the punishment we ever needed or deserved.

There is a new Rocky out, titled Rocky Balboa, and to build up momentum for ticket sales Comcast has released all of the Rocky movies on their On-Demand service for free to digital cable subscribers. Having nothing really to do on my days off I decided to go back and review some good times from my childhood and get pumped for the new movie. Here are some mini-reviews:

Rocky (1976)
I know the reason why I didn't like this movie as a kid: it takes its time getting to the fighting. Much more of the movie is dedicated to Adrian and Rocky than to Rocky and Apollo Creed. And that's the point. The movie was inspired by the Chuck Wepner-Muhammad Ali fight where the unknown Wepner lasted fifteen rounds with Ali before being TKO'ed with just 19 seconds left to go. There is no "against-all-odds" knockout where Rocky goes on to glory in the championship spotlight, because that stretches the fabric of reality too thin. Rocky, as he tells Adrian before the fight, can't win. Apollo Creed is too good, a phenom, a person from another world that no regular Joe has a hope of beating. But Rocky believes he can go the distance. He believes that he isn't the fool or bum everyone knows him as. He has an attainable, though incredible, goal and he goes after it, surprising everyone. It isn't about beating Apollo Creed on the score cards because he's already won where it counts. Rocky's prize is Adrian and somehow we don't really care if he wins the belt or not. Watching them all again this is by far my favorite Rocky film.

Rocky II (1979)
You know all that stuff I was saying about how it's not about the championship belt and that the real victory for Rocky comes outside the ring? Well forget that. Rocky II is all about the championship. But this time he's winning the championship for Adrian, so I guess that makes it OK, right? Not for me. This movie feels like an obvious cash-grab sequel, which is, I suppose, exactly what it is.

All the notes from the first movie are hit in this one: Rocky rising up to the challenge while still dealing with life issues that give the final fight an emotional undercurrent, fleshing out of the main characters outside the context of the ring and how that ultimately plays out inside the ring, and finally montage, montage, montage! But it all feels somehow like a shadow of what came before, almost like we are seeing the first film again only from a slightly different angle. Relatively minor characters in the first Rocky like Mickey and Apollo Creed get larger roles as the fight takes on a larger dimension in the second. We feel the build-up and when Adrian delivers the line "Win" we get the first real shot of emotion, a hint of what came before. The fight ends, sadly, in a ridiculous fashion but, hey, Rocky WON! Yay! Now another Rocky movie will never again be necessary.

Rocky III (1982)
What bad things can you say about a movie that has Mr. T as the antagonist? It has a wrestling match between Rocky and Hulk Hogan for God's sake! Isn't a movie like this pretty much inoculated from negative criticism? Perhaps, then, I should just give it the praise that it deserves: "Eye of the Tiger" - best montage music ever.

Rocky IV (1985)
One of the pivotal films of my childhood. I loved, adored, this film. Every part of it was awesome to me. The training sequences are enough to make the viewer break into a sweat (how a man could do leg lifts like that makes my gut hurt to think about). The villain, Victor Drag, played by Dolph Lundgren was an unstoppable superman waiting to come out of the TV and knock my little teeth out. Everything about this film was amped up for the 80's.

The film does not hold up on reviewing.

The first thing that surprised me about this movie is how short it is: 90 minutes. In my little child mind I had made it out to be a two and a half-hour epic of man-against-superman for the domination and glory of the world. But there's just not that much there; indeed, barely enough to support the 90 minute running time. Apollo Creed's death, what should have been a heart shattering event, is anticlimactic and poorly executed, bordering on a parody of boxing clichés.

The final fight is even worse. Rocky must get knocked down forty-seven times during the fight. The Soviet crowd turning on its champion is hammy and jingoistic in the extreme. The outcome, strangely never in doubt despite all of the build up of the "superman", is not satisfying because it's not really Rocky who's won. No, the man in this film is not the Rocky that conquers the museum steps but realizes that he can't win but will still get himself some self-respect. The main character in this film is Rambo, the invincible destruction machine that conquers his enemies no matter what. He is a comic book hero. And that's just really sad to see such a great character go by the wayside in favor of pyrotechnics.

Rocky V (1990)
We don't talk about Rocky V.

It's strange to see the time frame the Rocky movies were made in. Every three years since 1976 a new Rocky film came out up until the fifth. In that time frame Rocky seemed to lose the everyman quality that was vital to his appeal in the first place. This happened in the third during the opening montage when we see Rocky knocking out one opponent after another and Adrian wearing jewels and fur coats. He became a character larger than the simple bourgeoisies goal of just surviving the hits life gives you. He became a Hero with a capital "H". He became a franchise. If they had stopped with the first Rocky, he would have been immortal. But they went on and somewhere along the way, through all the sequels, he was lost.

It's funny, then, that it took a sequel to bring Rocky back to us.

Rocky Balboa (2006)
I love this movie. I'm not going to defend it aesthetically or pretend that it is Oscar worthy (it isn't). I'm not even going to say that I liked all of the decisions that were made in the film. But this is the sequel Rocky deserved.

Many people have observed that it is closest in tone and structure to the original Rocky than to any of the sequels. And thank God for that. In a way it is very much like Rocky II in that it retreads the basic beats and structure of the original, but this one actually adds something to the mix. The Rocky in this movie is a broken man having lost the one thing he could always be counted on to fight for: Adrian. He has been broken by life and is now only going through the motions, running on the vapors of his former glory.

But there is still something inside him - that something that pushed him to accept the fight with Creed with only a month's notice and to still have the nerve to go the distance, that something that drove him to win Adrian despite little encouragement from her. Maybe he only feels this something because people tell him he can't possibly do it, that there's no way and he should give up. But he does it anyway. That's Rocky and that's why we love him as a character and Stallone brings it back full force in this movie. It's not about the man in the fight, it's about the fight in the man. I loved this movie.

You will notice when watching this movie that there's a lot more use of the actual boxing world (HBO Sports, the Mandalay Bay Casino, Antonio Tarver as the opponent) than in previous Rocky movies. I think that this is because there's a realization in most boxing circles that we need a man like Rocky in boxing. The sport has become too dull for most Americans. There isn't a ready name in heavyweight boxing, the premier class, that fans know and can root for or against. People are beginning to go to mixed martial arts for their blood lust, or maybe even the occasional NBA game. Boxing needs someone who will actually stand toe-to-toe with his opponent and fight, not just clinch and hope to win out on the score cards. In short, boxing needs the old school.

And hey, if Sylvester Stallone can revive Rocky, what's stopping Boxing from reviving itself?